I’m a stay at home mum, so what?
Lets face it, society has made many stay at home mums feel they need to justify or even apologise for their choice to opt out of work in favour to enjoy motherhood. Why should we apoligise and explain our reasons? We don’t owe that to anyone.
We are raising our children. It is literally that simple. You don’t explain the other necessities in life, so why should this be any different? Motherhood should be promoted positively, without all the judgemental twats frowning at you for not having a career. Family is more important than any career, well it is in my eyes and I’m sure a lot of others too.
The way I see it is the disrespect that is aimed at stay at home mums must stem from ignorance right? The way to address this issue. Demonstration. That doesn’t really take a lot, dedicating your lives to your children- that is demonstration. Many of the twats that disrespect you haven’t done it. They aren’t living it every day, shaping their children to be respectable adults and doing it themselves, by hand, without help. With tears, heartache, happiness and every other emotion you could possibly think of. They haven’t sacrificed their careers for another person. They have no idea what it feels like, being in charge of this tiny human for the rest of their lives. Every fucking day. They don’t understand what goes into running a house, they aren’t living it. They live in a world where work means more to them and they wouldn’t sacrifice giving it up. They are the ones who are disrespecting you.
Why has society even made this an argument? Is it better to have a job or take care of your family full time? This is messed up. Us mothers, we are using all our abilities to serve others and we are doing it in the most direct way- motherhood. Men are the fighters, the hunters and the conquerors. Women naturally desire to love and care for others, to sacrifice themselves. The idea of being ambitious, is not naturally in a females instincts, this is being drilled into them from a young age, thats the era we are living in.
I am sick of people telling me to go out to work, just an evening job, or a weekend job. No. Childcare costs are huge, I don’t have the option of family members looking after my children all the time because they all work too, my partner earns enough so I don’t need to work, and my children are my responsibility, I chose to have them its my calling in life to raise them now. No job will ever come before them. Yes, of course I get lonely being a stay at home mum, but I get to watch my babies grow and learn things every day. I choose not to go out weekly because I simply don’t want to, not that I have that option either thinking about it! I’d rather be sleep deprived, poor and lonely, with the overwhelming feeling of happiness and slight smugness knowing I get to be a mother. Every single day. Not palming my children off so I can “enjoy myself.” Being a mother is my enjoyment and I intend to live it fully. They aren’t little forever, they will remember me staying at home with them making memories, not having to say bye to them and not being able to kiss them goodnight because I chose a meaningless job over their lives. I’m not having a moan at you mums who have children and work, I just don’t think we should have to explain ourselves if we choose something different.
Caring, the desire to love, putting relationships first, none of those characteristics will serve well in a career, not as well as being a stay at home mum. The people that don’t know, their opinion doesn’t matter. Unless they are living it. Forget it.