Someone please help, I am at my wits end.

I was unsure whether to write this on my blog or not but, seeing as I’m so desperate for help and any sort of advice, I decided to tell you all about Oscars problem. It’s a pretty in depth post so I apologise in advance.

Up until the age of one he was fine with going to the toilet. We moved him onto cows milk when he turned one and then the problems started. He had showed no signs of any intolerance to anything before then all of a sudden he wouldn’t go for days on end, and screaming in pain every time he went, to the point where he would bleed (sorry for too much info). I took him to the doctor who prescribed him movicol. At the time, it was a god send. He would go regularly and they wouldn’t be hard for him to pass. He was on movicol for over a year and then the doctors told us to wean him off it gradually. We found out later from doing research online, that the bowel becomes reliant on movicol and can’t go without movicol.

We cut down his milk intake thinking that might help him with going to the toilet, and gradually we would reduce his movicol. Originally he was prescribed one sachet a day, we reduced it to half a day and then just stopped it all together. The good news was he was finally off of movicol, after seeing various posts in forums that other children had been on it until the age of 9 etc and we didn’t want Oscar to be on medication for his life at such a young age when it wasn’t necessary.

The problem still continues to this day. He won’t go to the toilet for up to three days at a time, constantly saying he needs to go but will just refuse. His moods become awful when he needs to go, hence why I think his tantrums are a thousand times worse than most other children of his age. He is now getting to the point where he will vomit because the food has nowhere to go as he won’t go. Before you say he’s constipated I can assure you all hes not. When he does eventually go its fine, texture wise etc. (sorry again!) He has gone back to bleeding every time he goes because its too big when it comes out, I’m not exaggerating it can be the length of my forearm at times!

I am so stressed with it all, and now my hubby is too. I have been in tears over it all and I don’t see it ever getting better. I have looked for various advice online and I have yet to find some other parents that have experienced this and found a solution. If I take him back to the doctors they will just put him back on movicol which isn’t what needs to be done. I’m pretty certain its psychological, as he is too scared to go because it hurts him, I just don’t know how to explain it to him or get it across to him that he needs to go and it wont hurt if he just goes frequently.

Am I the only parent to have been through this? Do you have any advice for me? I get so frustrated and cross with him, and it’s starting to affect my relationship with my hubby as it puts strain on us. It’s getting that bad that if he hasn’t pooed the day before we don’t want to take him out anywhere because he just ruins it with his moods and he wont walk properly and just be a shit all day until he has been. It’s not normal that we feel we need to stay in because of how he will be but honestly you don’t see what he is like. Dan took him to the toilet in a public place near a cafe the other week because Oscar started squatting on the floor ready to push, Dan got him to the toilet and he screamed, and I mean screamed! I could hear him from outside the toilet, everyone was looking at us and even after all of that he STILL didn’t go.

Please help me. I never thought I’d feel this way about a toddler pooing but until you have been through it you can’t even begin to know what its like. Sorry for the in depth blog about pooing effectively but this is a last resort. I can’t end this post on a positive or hope because there isn’t one when it comes to this.


9 thoughts on “Someone please help, I am at my wits end.

  1. Hi I think your doing all you can for your son and I’d print off this post and take it to a GP you trust and show them how upsetting and how much it’s effecting your lives . If you don’t want him to be on the movical then insist they offer you an alternative course of treatment to help him and you . For years we remedied a problem charlie had ( not on the poo factor though 😏) through diet as didn’t want to resort to meds at such a young age . But when it become unmanageable we chose to go onto the meds , the pint I’m making is you know him best and you must do what you think is best for him and all of you and tell that to the GPs . Good luck with it alland hope you find a way through x X

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi there. I have been through this exact same problem with my daughter. I didn’t believe she was constipated either. We went back and forth to our doctor for help, without success. Finally I changed doctors, found a good one, who referred us to a really good pediatrician who was fantastic. He diagnosed the problem straight away. It ended up she was definitely constipated. We had to cut right back on dairy products and increase water intake and put her on a product called Osmolax. We would have to monitor daily her bowel movements and adjust how much Osmolax to put in her juice. Her constipation had gone on for to long and had stretched her bowel to a point that she couldn’t feel a bowel movement coming. The doctor told us we would probably need to keep up the Osmolax for anywhere from 6 to 9 months to get the bowel back to normal. Apparently the bowel is a slow healer. It has just hit 8 months and we are just about of Osmolax and back to normal. About twice a week i just throw a spoonful in juice just to keep things flowing.
    Our daughter had the exact same huge poo as your toddler. And only ever went every 2-3days. And then cry aswell. We have found things run very smooth when her water intake is increased. I was at breaking point aswell. So relieved to have found our pediatrician. Hope this helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kerri
      Thank you for reading my blog and offering me advice as to how you helped your daughter. I will get him a doctors appointment this week and see what they suggest. What your daughter was going through sounds very similar to what Oscar is going through. He drinks a lot of water, he wont touch juices or any other drink other than water. Once I have been to the doctors I will let you know how he gets on. Thank you for your help. I hope it gets better.


  3. I feel like I was supposed to stumble across your blog! Everything I’ve just read is exactly what we’ve been going through since November 2015 with my son who is 2 (3 in Feb) and it’s only now a year and a few weeks after that he’s grown out of this. I completely relate to the poos as big as your arm as my son always did them after waiting 5-7 days at a time!! His mood would completely change and he was a complete shit (no pun/offence!) it got to the stage where when he was at the time to go, i.e. Screaming and kicking I had to shut us in the loo until he was turtling (unsure of the correct terminology for this πŸ˜‚) and he would sit on and go, sometimes I’d have to put him back on the toilet 8/9 times but he would eventually just have to do it.

    Then one morning he woke up and asked to go for a poopoo, sat on the toilet himself and went! Since that day he goes once/twice a day, and normal sized poos, not giants!

    One doctor told me that some children just don’t like to go and won’t until they one day grow out of it, so there is light at the end of the tunnel, just EXTREMELY frustrating in the meantime. Hold on in there mama xxx

    Happy to talk about it more if you want! My insta is mamawilkos xxx


  4. Just found this blog by chance and wants to reassure you that this was me two years ago. I had two little girls withholding on me at the same time and it was HELL. So many tears, I can’t tell you. What finally cracked it for us was paediatric movicol but E was on it for two years (no problems when she came off it, just gradually reduced over time. We bought lots of books about poo withholding too for the kids to look at on the toilet but the biggest thing was incentives. BIG incentives. I created this whole world of ‘poo fairies’!! The kids needed to sprinkle dust (glitter mixed with flour) into the toilet bowl, do a poo and then a present would magically appear in their room that night. It didn’t have to be big – something from pound land, magazine etc but it really worked!! Good luck xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He was on movicol but the doctors told me to wean him off it as the bowel becomes reliant? I did and ever since then he did one painful bowel movement and bled a bit and since then it seems to have scarred him for life. We’ve been to the doctors with him and they’ve confirmed it’s psychological and that we can’t do anything other than incentives and patience, a lot of it! He is still withholding nearly a year after coming off of movicol. His poo is soft, not hard at all and he will hold it up to six days at a time. We’ve been told to go to a child psychologist so I think that might be the next step for us. He is also on lactulose. Xx


      1. It’s so strange how doctors differ with their prescriptions. We were told she might be on it for years and years and they didn’t bat an eyelid. I really do feel for you as it was one of the most stressful times we ever went through. E used to hold up to 9 days. I tried orange juice, prune juice, raisins etc. With my youngest, dried mango seems to work a treat! Who knew?? Lactolose gave my little one terrible tummy ache so we never persevered with that. I do wish you the best of luck. Let me know how you get on. Have you found ‘poo goes to poo land’ on the internet yet? It’s a book that’s fab to read to kids like ours. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No I haven’t found that book, I’ll have a look now. Oscar will only drink water. Literally that’s all he drinks. He is good with fruit and veg, I can’t change anything else. Every time he goes for a poo we buy him a present. I really hope my youngest doesn’t do this too, I think it will kill me off! Thanks for the advice. I usually write regular blogs on it so I’ll keep people updated that way. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

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